As I started to lend my voice to my presentation about my struggle with depression, I felt wildly uncomfortable; it felt as if I was betraying myself, or attempting to reveal something that I should keep contained.
I'm not happy about this, rather frustrated over it. To be honest, after creating the storyboard concerning depression, I lay awake in my hotel room that night thinking over my teenage years, and I simply didn't know how to feel about it. Perhaps not enough time has passed, despite it being 8 years ago? While I no longer suffer from anything close to depression, the memories are still rather raw, as if I still haven't justified leaving myself on the emotional rocks for years during my adolescence. The idea of sharing in a 3-5 minute video a glimpse into about 4 years of emotional toil just seems like a task I am not prepared to share with the world just yet.
After about an hour of deleting narrations and feeling shameful, I decided to change course and created a digital story about my brothers and their importance in my life. I apologize for the last minute modification.
I'm not happy about this, rather frustrated over it. To be honest, after creating the storyboard concerning depression, I lay awake in my hotel room that night thinking over my teenage years, and I simply didn't know how to feel about it. Perhaps not enough time has passed, despite it being 8 years ago? While I no longer suffer from anything close to depression, the memories are still rather raw, as if I still haven't justified leaving myself on the emotional rocks for years during my adolescence. The idea of sharing in a 3-5 minute video a glimpse into about 4 years of emotional toil just seems like a task I am not prepared to share with the world just yet.
After about an hour of deleting narrations and feeling shameful, I decided to change course and created a digital story about my brothers and their importance in my life. I apologize for the last minute modification.
(Music: Avicii - Hey Brother)
This may not have been your initial choice of stories to tell, but you did a fantastic job. It was very well paced and the ideal soundtrack. I love the concept of finding our own identities through the exploration of those closest to us. It gives me some food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI only have one brother, but his name is also Garrett. Oddly enough, your description of your Garrett is the same description I would apply to mine; perhaps there is something in the name. When you stated that he laughed easily, I heard my brother’s uninhibited laughter. If for no other reason, it is for that, that I thank you for sharing.
As different as you and I are we share the common bond of growing up in a family of four-brothers. I'm not the youngest, but I'm sure my youngest brother can share some of your sentiments of having to follow in those foreboding footsteps that preceded your arrival. It's amazing how much you all look alike and it's easy to see that the apples fell right under the tree and you especially look just like your dad. Great pictures of you and your brothers, I thought I would share one of mine
ReplyDelete( http://rafesrandomrants.blogspot.com/2011/05/band-of-brothers.html ). The last thing I would say is some unsolicited advice if I may... "only apologize when you have done something you need to apologize for" Not being able to tell the story of your teen years and the battles you fought is not something you have to apologize for to anyone, especially not us, nor yourself. The courage to even consider the topic is admirable, and do not fool yourself this is a great story!!! Thanks for sharing!!
Corey Hunt
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! I am an only child with multiple step-siblings, so I Can sort of relate, but am totally jealous of the bond you have with your brothers. I like how you introduced all of your brothers and also explained a lot about yourself in doing so.